So it’s been a bit of a hiatus? Apart from being busy – what has kept me away from blogging is that there are so many damn bloggers out there with a million and one things to say that by the time I read a couple each night I don’t really have anything new to say.

Ha! Nothing new to say? Well I thought this ‘comeback’ post might interest you. Before you read any further think about what your first year of teaching like? What was the first few months like?

A walk in the park? Lol, this year has been bloody hard – and the trouble with explaining it on a blog is that I obviously can’t make anything too ‘personal’ and have to talk in generalities. But if you want to reminisce then carry on reading.

By far the hardest thing, without a shadow of a doubt is classroom management. I think my favourite line so far when ‘talking’ to a pupil is: “It is your choice” I love taking myself outside the equation and putting the decision as to what happens in their hands. But honestly, I don’t know how many times I have used this line and how often it works. Some kids just don’t get it. I also totally agree with the whole don’t crack a smile till Christmas – maybe a bit severe but it’s the right idea. If you give an inch they take a mile. Everytime. And I do seem to be constantly reining them in – making sure they know the boundaries. But hey – there’s always next year.

A positive though – never ever under estimate the value of your colleagues. If you are an experienced teacher no matter how you teach, us newbies always want to learn from you. If you have only been teaching a year more than me, I still want to learn from you and any little nugget of information or experience is like gold dust for people like me who are finding our way in teaching. When I have a crap class, the best thing about it is waving ‘bye’ to the kids and talking to other teachers.

I don’t mind admitting that I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster and I bet you were too during your first year (maybe you still are). One week I’m full of energy with great new ideas, lessons prepared to the max. Others I am shattered, wondering why the hell I attempt to teach certain pupils as it seems to have little effect. Most weeks I middle out – a sort of working normality with a couple of cool lessons, generally making progress. Sometimes I like to be experimental – other times I wish I had an overhead projector to copy from and textbook to work through.

I’m definitely finding out what type of teacher I am. I thought at the start of all this I would be going down a pastoral route and in many ways I am. I genuinely want to ‘look out’ for kids and make sure they are OK. But more than that – I enjoy it when things work. I enjoy the learning and teaching that goes on day in and day out, I like seeing ways I can make it better. And I particularly like it when the kids respect me cos they can’t get away with messing around. By no means am I any good at it – but I can see myself in a couple of years getting better at it and running a tightly managed classroom where real and worthwhile learning takes place.

But for my final question that has been perplexing me just now and believe me I am no cynic. I seriously doubt that for some kids I or any teacher do the blindest bit of good for. No matter how much we try, the resources and effort we put in place. Even if it is as good as anyone anywhere can get. Some kids will not want to learn, do not want to be taught and will either placate you and then continue to mess around aimlessly or deliberately go out their way to be disruptive. And it is these kids I loose the most sleep over (although tbh I’m too tired usually to actually loose sleep – it’s just a phrase).  I will always try to teach these kids, constantly chipping away at the hard exteriors. I try to focus more on success in responsibility or citizenship or mamging to complete some work. But I really do wonder, when those type of kids walk out the school door does any of it make the blindest bit of difference?

I guess I’ve got the rest of my life to find out

How many times have you heard ‘Aye, they did that 20 years ago, and then changed it and now they’re changing it back again”. Or “Yeh, it’s the next flavour of the month”.  I’ve only been a teacher for 10 weeks or so and I’ve heard it plenty. From a lot of different people. Different backgrounds. Different schools.

At our council CPD meetings the most people address us (the NQT’s) with the words “You are the future of teaching. You are young. You can make change happen”.

Change. It’s a big theme, and it’s not like it is new or is the flavour of the month. It is something that no-one can escape from. People 400 years ago were thinking pretty similar things to what you are thinking just now. Maybe in a different context, but essentially the same stuff. But turning to the voices of those cynics – why do it? “If its not broke, don’t fix it” Is education a series of cliches? Sometimes from my young eyes I feel that it could easily be if we let it. “Do you want a learning intention with that?” I heard that one in the staffroom. But I’m supposed to be part of something, the new blood, the teacher of the future. But how do I battle against the cynics? Why should it be a battle? Why do things seem to change so much? And why should they?

Even in this web2.0 arena which provides us with ‘tools’ that are coming out our ears, we seem to go through fads. I honestly hardly blog about all these technologies because I feel that by the time I blog it, it will be out of date and the next thing will have come along. In the same way (I am told) Education goes through fads. Does it? I seem to have started my career at the start of a God almighty changing point. AcFE, AifL, Sustainability, Citizenship, Health Promoting Schools, Enterprise. 

Could we all just not agree on something and stick to it? It would satisfy the cynics of change. But I know that this couldn’t be the case as education really is an evolutionary process. It needs to be diverse and different and suit the learner and teacher. So why, when I go to CPD, am I constantly told to incorporate a million different techniques and values into my lessons. I feel I should make up a checklist for myself: Enterprise, yes? Citizenship, yes? Use of technology, yes?

 I feel if you want us to be the ‘teachers of the future’ advise yes, but don’t suffocate.

What I’ve learnt over the past couple of weeks is the truely humbling nature of my job. I’ve learnt that I thouroughly enjoy it! Often I am frustrated and really wish that I could manage that class better. Often, I find myself repeating discipline procedures and wondering if my actions are making a blind bit of difference to the kid who refuses to look at me when I’m talking to them A good few times I’ve thought despairingly “Oh God: This is it. Can I really do this for the rest of my life?”

But that is the point. It’s normal. And it is a reflection on the fact that education is as ordinary and essential as breathing. When I think of it this way, I feel grateful to be in a country where we have such an opportunity to make innovation  commonplace.

I hope that I can play my part!

So here marks the start of me reflecting as a learner and a teacher (when I get around to it, of course).

“But with the blast shields down how can I see, let alone fight?”

“Use your feelings, Luke.”

I love it how Stewart’s random StarWars quotes can suddenly make me stop worrying about ‘BIG ISSUES’. Recently, I’ve been worried about job prospects… with 30 or so Tech Teachers graduating from Glasgow and 50 (!) gradauating from Strathclyde, I felt myself recently sinking into ‘worrydom’. Hearing phrases such as ‘just your luck’ or positions “drying up”, makes me gulp and then breath out slowly.

Though I realised just there, properly (not half heartedly like before) that I’ve just got to go with my feelings. I know this is probably obvious but I’ve just got to make sure I do a damn good job at being a teacher next year so that when it comes to application forms or interviews I know that I’ve given it my best shot. The good thing is that I really want to do this, I’ve got so many ideas that I want an opportunity to try them. 

I am defenitely the sort of person that if I can’t see where I’m going or know that I can’t find an answer I start getting worried. I guess that over the next year I’m going to have to tackle it with the same frame of mind as Luke (cheesy I know) – determination, moving forward and gut feeling.